Ask Marilyn: How can I subtly help my husband lose weight?

Q: My husband is a good three to four stone overweight. I’m worried about his health as he was slim and fit when we first met five years ago.  He doesn’t seem to think he has a problem. Can you suggest some ways for me to help him lose weight without him realising?

A: You are right to be concerned. Overweight men are at higher risk for cancer, diabetes, infertility, heart disease and stroke, but by losing as little as 5 to 15 percent of their weight, they can reduce the odds of developing these diseases. For a 200-pound man (14 stone 4lbs), that means dropping just ten pounds. Research shows that partners play a major role in male weight reduction. So make sure that you cook healthy meals at home and stop buying biscuits, cakes and chocolates and have more fruit, nuts and seeds and healthy snack bars available at home. Most men don’t like drinking water all day long. They find it lacks flavour and that it simply doesn’t quench thirst as well as soft drinks or juices do. So if your man is a big soft drinks or squash drinker change to fruit juice but buy the juice that is rich in pulp. The reason is simple; juice with more pulp will fill him up more quickly than processed juice and becoming full faster means that he’ll consume less juice by the end of the day,  thereby reducing the amount of excess calories. Pulp is loaded with fibre, an essential nutrient that your body not only needs, but will make him feel a lot fuller throughout the day. More pulp can also help prevent insulin spiking, which usually results in an energy crash that comes from strained juices. The other alternative is to use smoothies where all the pulp is included in the drink rather than being thrown away as in pulp-free juice. 

The same principle can be applied to bagels or bread. Instead of buying white bread for your family, stick to whole grain. The added fibre in whole-grain bread will kill his appetite quicker than if he were eating the white kind. Therefore, instead of eating two portions of the processed version of the bread, he might only eat one which cuts the caloric intake. Products containing whole wheat are also believed to keep blood-sugar levels stable over a longer period of time and if his blood sugar levels are stable he won’t get food cravings.

Due to social pressures, men suffer more than their fair share of stress – both financial and work-related. This is bad news for all men, especially those aged 40 years or over. Because any stress which leads to a feeling that life is out of control, is a major contributor to disordered eating, excessive alcohol intake and disease. Also, excessive stress leads to increased production of the hormone cortisol, which stimulates fat storage around the middle, and leads to an increased risk of heart disease. Encouraging him to move to a less stressful job, reduce his work schedule, or take regular physical exercise will help him normalise his weight and boost his general health. Spending more time with you is also a great stress reliever.

A lot of men stop playing as much sport when they get married or are settled in a good relationship and this is bad news for their waistline. So encourage him not to just sit and watch sport but to get out there and participate. If he isn’t into sport what about around the house? He could get stuck into DIY. Instead of using a car wash tell him that washing the car himself gives it a much better shine. Don’t forget the garden; there must be plenty for him to do there. New research from the University of Loughborough says that gardening can be a good substitute for going to the gym. Gardening has a positive effect on the physical and emotional health of people.

For many men giving up alcohol is a complete no-no. But it is important that he has 3 to 4 alcohol-free days a week and to avoid binge drinking. If your man is drinking too much make sure there is no alcohol in the house and encourage him to do more of the activities he enjoys.  Reading a good book or starting a new hobby and developing other interests outside the pub will also help replace drinking time with thinking time.

As you can see, these tips won’t complicate his life. The only thing they will do is help him shed a few pounds without even realising.

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