Coping with empty nest syndrome without reaching for the biscuit tin
It’s that time of year when children go off to college, and mums all over the country experience separation anxiety. The house is suddenly much quieter, the refrigerator much fuller and the biscuit tin so tempting. Here are some tips on weathering empty nest syndrome without piling on the pounds:
Don’t be alarmed if you experience feelings of sadness and loss of purpose when your last child leaves home. These are normal reactions and researchers from Cambridge University have shown that even animals suffer from it and continue to bring food home to offspring that have flown the nest. Find someone to talk to, such as your partner or a friend. If you don’t feel better, consult a counsellor or therapist.
Now’s the time to go through your fridge and food cupboard and throw out all those things you know aren’t good for you. Remove temptation so that if you get the urge to comfort eat the food simply isn’t there.
When you go to the supermarket make sure you aren’t hungry so that you aren’t tempted to fill your trolley with fast food and unhealthy snacks. You’ve got the time now to choose healthy foods and ingredients that you really like.
For one thing, try to plan 5 to 6 small meals with one to be eaten around every 3 hours of the day and make it a point not to miss any of them. It takes an average of 2 ½ hours for the human body to digest a meal, so by the time you start to feel a comfort food craving coming on, it’s almost time for your next meal anyway.
When you are at home, always try to keep some fresh fruit on hand. If you are hit with a craving fruit is a better choice than cake or chips. Cut up some fresh veggies like carrots and celery and keep them in the fridge with some hummous. This will give you another quick and healthy snack that you can just grab and eat during a craving.
If you’ve always wanted to get fit but haven’t had the time; now’s your chance. Go for it! Schedule your exercise session in the mornings so that you feel energised and focused for the day ahead. And if you can afford it hire a personal trainer; remember it’s your time to shine now!
If you get a craving, wait 15 minutes before giving in to a craving. Try to engage in another activity such as taking a walk.  Sometimes even a five minute distraction can help ward off the cravings.
Set short-term goals: Take things one day at a time, focusing on getting through the next 24 hours — if this seems overwhelming, then the next hour — without succumbing to temptation. Whenever worries about tomorrow or next month come to mind, bat them away and return to thinking about today.
If you work, now’s your chance to really give it your all or perhaps change career to retrain if you’ve always wanted to do something new but couldn’t because of the kids. If you don’t work take up a new hobby, sport, study programme or volunteer effort to regain your sense of purpose and fill those lonely hours. You may even want to plan a trip abroad to a country you’ve always wanted to visit. If you’re in a relationship plan some ‘dates’ with your partner; it’s been years since the two of you could come and go as you pleased so enjoy it. If you’re not in a relationship go through your address book and get in touch with old friends or better still make new ones.
Find a way to communicate regularly with your teenagers by phone, e-mail or letters. Keep in mind that this is an invigorating time in your relationship with your child – a chance to go from being a teenager’s parent to a young adult’s vital, trusted friend. Set a good example to your child and encourage them to find their feet in the world by doing the same yourself; even though they have moved out you are still and will always be their first role model. So if you want your child to be fit and healthy it’s your job to eat well, exercise regularly, manage your weight, enjoy your life and set a healthy example for them to follow.
And finally, it is not unheard of now for empty ‘syndromers’ and 50 somethings to go on a ‘gap year’, they are called Grey Gappers. Gap years were unheard of in my generation; we went straight from school to university or school to work. So some people feel that they have missed out on this kind of experience and decide that once the children have left home they are going to take a year off and go the equivalent of backpacking but maybe with a suitcase and better class of accommodation!