Ask Marilyn – Star Question: Lack of libido?
Q: My problem is lack of libido. I am 54yrs, have been married 30yrs and love my husband. I am fit and active and not stressed. However, when it comes to love making I find my mind is willing but my body isn’t, in that I don’t seem to have any natural physical desires or sensations (without a lot of stimulation). My husband complains that he always has to initiate our love making sessions and this is true.
I enjoy the closeness of love making and I enjoy the actual sex once I get going, but I know my husband is disappointed that I can’t approach him. I am also worried that this imbalance will eventually cause problems in our relationship.
I’ve read that Testosterone Cream is very helpful in my predicament and wondered if you would recommend this and also where I could purchase this from. I’ve looked on the Internet but can only find suppliers in the USA.
Any advice or information would be greatly appreciated and I think your response will be of interest to many other women.
A: This is a very common problem for women after the menopause. Some women have gone on HRT to try and solve this problem and it has not made any difference. A study in the New England Journal of Medicine showed that there was no difference in women taking HRT compared to a placebo in terms of sex drive and factors effecting quality of life such energy, depression, sleep etc. I would not recommend the use of testosterone. It is not available to purchase in the UK for a very good reason, because it is a drug, a hormone, and should only be used if given on prescription.
Even when prescribed, it can give unwanted and unpleasant side effects including deepening voice (as one woman who came to the clinic had experienced), loss of head hair (male pattern baldness) and increase in body hair.
Make sure you eating a good diet and that your blood sugar is balanced. Although you mention that you are not stressed, the adrenal glands will be overworking if your blood sugar is fluctuating. The adrenal glands produced androgens, male hormones, so you want them to be working effectively.
Take a good multivitamin and mineral designed for the menopause, containing good levels of zinc and boron (e.g. MenoPlus) which are important for the production of sex hormones. Studies have shown that the amino acid L-arginine can be helpful in increasing libido because of its ability to enhance nitric oxide (do not arginine if you suffer from herpes as it can trigger the virus).
Herbs, such as American ginseng and damiana, can also be helpful for increasing sex drive, together with ginkgo biloba which improves circulation an blood supply to the sex organs. If you feel dry during intercourse, which can put some women off sex, then use a natural lubricant like Sylk (see Resources Page).