Most women experience a temporary loss of libido at various times of their lives, and this is perfectly normal. Stress and fatigue are well known libido dampeners but sex drive is governed by both life style factors and sex hormones.  Both men and women have levels of all three major hormones (oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone) and as always with nature it is about balance so to encourage hormonal balance (and a healthy libido) the first step is to make sure that you eat healthily and exercise regularly.  

Although loss of libido can occur at any time, with the onset of menopause and the hormonal changes it brings, many women find that it is harder for their bodies to get aroused. Lack of lubrication can cause painful penetration, arousal is more subdued because blood flows less quickly to the genitals and breasts are less sensitive to touch again due to a decreased blood flow. (There is a natural organic lubricant I use in the clinic called Yes, so see the Resources Page for more information.)

 

If you are approaching the menopause and experiencing a loss of libido don’t blame your changing hormones because studies show that as you enter the prime of your life many women gain a new sense of self and feel sexier than ever before. In other words far from noticing a loss of libido the opposite occurs. The following tips should help kick start your sex life, whatever age or stage of life you are:

 

Libido boosting nutrients

Vitamin A, B, zinc and selenium are all crucial for libido. Good food sources of vitamin A include carrots, eggs and fish oil. Vitamin B rich foods include whole grains, dark green leafy vegetables, nuts and lentils. For zinc go for eggs, mushrooms, nuts and pulses and for selenium try garlic, seeds and whole grains.

It is also important to make sure your diet is rich in naturally occurring plant compounds called phytoestrogens which are found in legumes like soya, chickpeas, lentils etc.  Phytoestrogens have hormone balancing properties and can reduce hot flushes and night sweats and restore vitality and energy.

Omega 3 fatty acids found in fish oil, nuts and seeds have been found to raise dopamine levels in the brain the neurotransmitters that help women experience sexual pleasure. (For a good Omega 3 supplement try Omega 3 Plus, see the Resources Page).

 

Get up and dance

Exercise helps too, by easing stress and boosting your mood and body image so aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. If you don’t want to jog or join a gym just put on your favourite music and dance.

 

Avoid the libido killers

Caffeine, trans fats (hydrogenated vegetable oils) and saturated fats – found in red meat and processed and refined foods- smoking and alcohol are all libido killers that need to be avoided.

 

Check your stress levels

In general, stress dampens libido. A stressed woman may blame a host of other factors for her symptoms, without realising that stress is the real cause of the problem. Taking time out, yoga and learning to meditate are all tried and tested stress busters you may want to experiment with. Relaxing in a warm bath, especially with sensual aromatherapy oils works wonders too.

 

Get an early night

Ensure that you are getting enough sleep. There is nothing more libido dampening than fatigue. This doesn’t mean, though, that you should have a long morning lie-in as this will just upset your body clock and give you symptoms of jet lag without the holiday. To maximise your energy potential go to bed earlier if you need to catch up on sleep.

 

Ask for support

Depression is a major inhibitor of sexual desire. Try to understand why you are feeling low, so that you act appropriately when low feelings come. If you feel you can’t cope alone, reach out for the support of family and friends or see your doctor for referral to a counsellor or therapist.

 

Setting the mood

Most sex therapists agree that sex begins in the head – in a way it’s an idea that overtakes you. Your body’s physical reaction follows. A key part of starting that sexual idea is setting the mood and romantic music can help, as can low lighting, a candlelit bath, or your favourite romantic or raunchy film. Devote more time to foreplay, exploring and discovering what you are and your partner enjoy. If you haven’t felt sexy for a while, touching yourself can also be a way to reconnect with your body as a sensual, sexual pleasure. Once you’re back in touch with your own desires it can be easier and less daunting to connect with your partner’s.

If you feel you haven’t got time for romance, make time. Give it a higher priority in your life. However busy or stressful your life gets, try to make sure that you have some ‘couple time’ where you can unwind together and talk about your day. And plan regular meals out, cinema trips or weekend breaks so that the two of you get some special time together away from the hustle and bustle of your daily life.

The power of touch should never be underestimated; being hugged or petted is necessary for our physical and mental well-being. A massage is an excellent way to help you and your partner relax and put you both in the mood for sex.

 

Re-evaluate how you feel about your body

Remind yourself that your ability to become aroused, achieve sexual satisfaction and reciprocate is there no matter what you weigh or look like. Stop focusing on what society tells you is beautiful and concentrate instead on what you find beautiful and pleasurable about yourself.

 

Open the lines of communication

Relationship troubles can also contribute to loss of sexual desire. If you don’t feel listened to, respected or important it is natural to respond with resentment and that resentment can dampen libido. It’s important to open the lines of communication with your partner so that anger can be expressed in places other than the bedroom. If the problem is severe, such as infidelity, you may want to go to a relationship counsellor.

If you find the idea of sex unappealing or uncomfortable, talk to a sex therapist to discuss your health, your upbringing, your circumstances, any body image issues you may have and your relationship so that you can find ways to give yourself permission to satisfy your sexual needs. You may want to do this alone or you may find that it is more productive to talk to a sex therapist with your partner.

 

Just do it

The less often you have sex the less likely you are to enjoy it or look forward to it, so make time for sex in your life. Regular sex keeps your sex organs healthy and releases tension. If you haven’t got a partner masturbation is a positive way to explore your body and release sexual tension.

 

Libido boosting supplements

There are numerous herbal remedies that are thought to help put sexual desire and drive back into your life and these include celery, wild oats, parsley, and damiana. Agnus castus has a hormone balancing effect and St John’s Wort is another herbal product that has been shown to have the potential to increase sex drive. A German study on a group of 111 women with libido problems showed that 60 per cent of the participants had regained their libido after a twelve week course of St John’s Wort.  (See the Resources Page for information on how to obtain these herbs.) 

If a dry vagina is making sex uncomfortable for you and your partner refer to the Ask Marilyn section of this issue.

 

Light at the end of the tunnel

Although the menopause can contribute to a loss of libido it’s important to understand that it isn’t the only cause of low libido by far. Common factors include stress, fatigue, children, illness, too much alcohol, poor diet and medical conditions such as under active thyroid which can be more common in the menopausal years. Some of these contributory problems can be worked on to great effect and a determined effort to put your love life back into a more prominent position on your list of priorities will help. All this suggests that there is no need to accept waning libido as a sign of age. There is light at the end of the tunnel if you learn how to meet the needs of your body, balance your hormones naturally through healthy eating, regular exercise and stress management and give yourself the time and space to set the mood and rekindle your libido naturally.

And remember contrary to the myth of sexual decline with age, some women, about one in six, report increased sexual desire after menopause.

I’ve long stressed the importance of sensible and healthy weight management before and during pregnancy and now new research has suggested that women who are overweight before and during pregnancy could be ‘passing on’ their problems to their babies. Researchers believe that genetic mechanisms that control the weight of an infant may be altered if the mother is obese. And this change could lead to the baby becoming heavier than normal – and a cycle where each successive generation is heavier than the last.

This month’s case study is 33 year old ‘Katy’ who came to the clinic with painful breasts

Every month during the week before my period, my breasts would become swollen and very lumpy. This had started during my late twenties. They were extremely tender to touch and even rolling over in bed would be uncomfortable. I had become quite concerned about the lumps and went to see a doctor for an ultrasound scan who reassured me they were benign (non cancerous) but suggested that I could have them drained if they continued to be troublesome. I felt scared by this because I didn’t like the thought of having to go to hospital. The other option my doctor offered was to take the Pill to ‘balance’ my hormones but I was reluctant because of potential side effects.

 

One of my friends who was training to become a nutritional therapist told me that changing my diet and taking supplements could help with breast tenderness. She recommended that I check out The Dr Marilyn Glenville Website. I did this straight away and downloaded an e-book on ‘Understanding Breast Problems’. This was so useful and by the time I read it I had a better understanding of why some women suffer with lumpy, painful breasts. It felt very reassuring that other women suffered and I was not alone. After I had read the ‘e-book’ I decided to phone the Dr Marilyn Glenville Clinic because I felt that I would benefit more from having a one to one consultation with a nutritionist. I knew this would motivate me more to change my diet and it would be more supportive for me.

 

I spoke to a helpful receptionist who, before booking my first appointment suggested I speak to one of the nutritionists to see if there was anything I needed to do before coming to the clinic. When I had a chat with the nutritionist she suggested that I perform a ‘Female Hormone Profile’, which was an assessment using saliva, of my hormones throughout my menstrual cycle. The great thing about this was that I could do it from home! She explained that this would tell me if I had any hormone imbalance as this can cause lumpy breasts. The test took me a month to complete, because it covered the whole cycle, which I didn’t mind because at least it would give the nutritionist more information about me at the first consultation. A nutritional questionnaire was also posted to me, which I had to complete before my consultation and the kit for the ‘Female Hormone Profile’ arrived a couple of days later.

 

I met with the nutritionist about 6 weeks later (to ensure that my results were back in time) and she went through my questionnaire and my test results. Interestingly the results indicated that I had excess levels of progesterone, which is the hormone that is high during pregnancy, and this is a time when women can also experience tender, lumpy breasts. It was great to see that there was something out of balance and to see it right in front of me. The nutritionist explained that we could use a combination of dietary modification, nutritional supplements and herbs to address the imbalance. With hormone excess and trying to control this, she explained that it was essential to also support the digestive system and liver to ensure good detoxification and excretion of the hormones out of the body.

 

My diet on the whole was OK, as I try to cook from scratch and was conscious of eating my fresh fruit and vegetables. However, I knew I drank too much tea – 6-8 cups a day!! On one hand it was to get me through the day to keep my energy up, but also I really enjoyed it! The nutritionist explained that tea not only contains caffeine and tannin, which can inhibit mineral absorption, but it contains compounds called methylxanthines. Methylxanthines are substances that are found in black tea, green tea, chocolate and even decaffeinated tea which can increase breast discomfort. She said that not all women are sensitive to these compounds but if they are they really need to be avoided altogether and not just in the week leading up to the period! She recommended an herbal tea substitute called Redbush or Rooibos which is naturally caffeine free and contains very little tannin and no methylxanthines.

 

She also said that I needed to increase my intake of fibre from wholegrains and flaxseed because this would help my body to get rid of the excess of hormones. My bowels were sluggish and she explained that this was not healthy because if you are not opening the bowels on a daily basis, hormones can get reabsorbed back into the body and that can create more imbalance.

 

The nutritionist also talked about foods that can cause inflammation because lumpy breasts can be a sign of inflammation. The saturated fats from meat, chocolate and dairy products are pro-inflammatory (cause inflammation) and the fats from oily fish, nuts, seeds and avocados are anti-inflammatory.  I rarely ate oily fish because of the smell cooking it – and I supposed I did eat too much cheese!! She suggested that I use tin sardines and salmon if I wasn’t keen on cooking them as they were just as nutritious and a lot more convenient! She gave me a menu planner for additional meal suggestions which was really helpful.

 

After we went through my diet in depth the nutritionist talked about nutritional supplements and herbs that can be a useful addition. She recommended I take a good general multi-vitamin and mineral, a vitamin B complex to help my liver detoxify the excess hormones, and fish oil. The fish oil was a potent omega 3 supplement to really help calm the inflammation. Finally she recommended some herbs to help rebalance my progesterone.

 

By the end of my first consultation I was raring to go and put the recommendations into place! The nutritionist ordered my supplements for me and they were posted out to me (and arrived the next day) which saved me the hassle of trying to find them!!  I went food shopping and stocked up on Rooibos tea, nuts and seeds and tinned fish!

 

It was recommended that I book my follow up consultation for 8 weeks so I could have 2 periods to see if there was an improvement as she explained it can take this length of time or sometimes longer to balance our hormones. The nutritionist gave me a detailed diet diary to fill in over the next 8 weeks. This was to help me keep on track of what I was eating but also to help monitor my symptoms.

 

It was quite extraordinary – my period came without me realising!! In just a month of cutting the tea out and generally improving my diet, my breasts were not lumpy or tender! It was amazing and in such a short space of time. I was prepared for it taking longer as the nutritionist had explained, so it was brilliant to see improvement this early on.

 

I had my follow up consultation and again I had been symptom free in my last period! The nutritionist was so pleased with me and really encouraging and suggested that I continue with everything for at least another 8 weeks and then review again. She explained that although some of the supplements and herbs were only for the short to medium term, the diet is more of a life change. 

 

I am so pleased that I finally contacted the Dr Marilyn Glenville clinic although in hindsight I should have done this 5 years ago! I’m telling all my friends and colleagues now about nutrition and just how powerful it has been for me. I will never go back to drinking tea and I’m much more aware of what I’m putting in my body.

 

Marilyn’s Comment

 

This is a wonderful case where Katy benefited in a short space of time from changing her diet. Sometimes it can take longer to address underlying hormone imbalances but there is often no black and white answer in regards to how long it will take. The main thing is to keep focused and be supported by a nutritionist and understand that sometimes it can take longer, but it is better to address the underlying cause rather than taking something like the Pill which only masks what is actually going on.

 

If you would like to find out more about our clinics and the test mentioned, then please see the Resources Page.