Ask Marilyn – Star Question: Painful Intercourse?

Q: I have not had sexual intercourse for 17 months as I split up with my boyfriend and went through a long depression about it. I am now completely recovered and have met a new boyfriend. However, during sexual intercourse, it is quite painful, in a particular position (missionary), and not in others.

I am 49, I stopped my periods about 3 years ago and I am following your vitamin supplement advice to the letter. This is new to me. I know that you recommend the Sylk lubricant but I am wondering if there is anything I should have checked and if you could explain why the pain is there and what you would suggest to do to improve the situation, as this is a cause of concern as you can imagine.

A: As with any pain you should get it checked out and your doctor may do it or refer you to a gynaecologist. It is interesting that you were probably using the same position (missionary) with your ex-boyfriend and yet you had already gone through the menopause three years ago.

Also, that you are not getting pain with intercourse in every position. For some women, pain in certain positions is caused by a retroverted uterus (where the womb naturally tilts backwards instead of forwards) but you would have experienced the discomfort with previous boyfriends. Fibroids are also associated with pain or discomfort during intercourse and these are very common for women around the menopause and could give pain on intercourse in certain positions and not others depending on where the fibroids are situated.

Other problems like ovarian cysts, prolapsed womb, infections and endometriosis are also known to cause painful sex (medically known as dyspareunia) so that is why you should get it checked in order to rule out any problems. If you are given the all clear then my suggestion is to use the Sylk lubricant and avoid any positions which may be uncomfortable.

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